Birthday feelings

At Popstarz for my birthday party, click for a Spotify playlist

So I'm another year older today. It always takes me by surprise, but it's a great time to look back over the last few years. What with the new year and my birthday, January is often a month of planning and looking back for me.

But this year I realised it's not about looking back at what I've achieved. My birthday is not a time to look back and regret missed opportunities, or congratulate myself on my own achievements. Rather it's a fabulous opportunity to realise just how many things I have to be grateful for.

I was out on Friday night with the most wonderful group of people, from friends I've known for many years to those I've met in the last few months. It made me get a little bit soppy to think about the number of people I have in my life who I really value.

To anyone not celebrating my birthday, happy Burns Night / Virginia Woolf's birthday / whatever you are celebrating!

Jesus plasters

I have a habit of chewing on my fingers when I'm nervous. It's not a good habit - nor a particularly attractive one - and I often don't notice I'm doing it until they start to bleed. Thankfully my housemate is very well equipped and provided me with a very colourful popart Jesus plaster.

Aren't they fabulous? Or are they a tacky commercialisation of faith? Does it matter? Well, perhaps that's another reflection for another time but my Jesus plaster certainly made me think. Most people who saw it immediately commented on the healing power it must contain.

After joking along with this for a while, I tried to think a little more seriously. For a start, it never once occurred to me to pray about my finger. It's just a little cut, right? Who needs prayer for that? It hurts a little but I figure it'll heal itself. I'm sure I have enough in myself to heal it. Platelets are perfectly effective on their own, I'm sure. I mean, I'm no doctor but it's worked in the past.

So I decided to give it a shot. I'm not one of life's great pray-ers. I like to be self-sufficient and that includes a reluctance to accept help from God. Of course, I know when to get support for the big things, we all do. When a family member is ill, I'm powerless so I am prepared to ask for help. Because even I know there are times I can't fix it! But ask for help for myself? Why would I do that? I'm fine.

The Jesus plaster sat on my finger as a constant reminder that sometimes I need a little extra support. And when I decided to pray about it, something changed. I was more relaxed; the pain even diminished a bit. So when I fell down the stairs and hurt my back, I first hobbled to work and forced myself to get through it. Then I had a break, and I was going over a prayer list. I noticed a name there that I hadn't written. In someone else's handwriting was my name. I remembered the Jesus plaster, remembered the last time I prayed for something I didn't consider worth praying about. So I did, and I got through the day intact.

The Jesus plasters aren't a miracle cure. And, let me be clear about this, prayer isn't some kind of instant fix-it either. But sometimes my Jesus plaster reminds me who it is I'm meant to be depending on for my help. If I were to look up from my own internal world for a minute, what would I see?

I lift up my eyes to the hills- Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip -
He who watches over you will not slumber.
from Psalm 121

Happy Christmas

¹In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ²He was with God in the beginning.
 ³Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. ⁴In him was life, and that life was the light of men. ⁵The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.
 ⁶There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. ⁷He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. ⁸He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. ⁹The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.
 ¹⁰He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. ¹¹He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. ¹²Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—¹³children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.
 ¹⁴The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1

Going home for Christmas

I just found out that I'm not working on Boxing Day - I had the wrong rota! I'm so excited, I get to spend two days at home with my family. On Christmas Day I'll be with G&G (my dad's parents) and on Boxing Day I'll be with Mum, Dad and Tori. I'm looking forward to spending some time relaxing with them. Only one more week to go!

Have you ever seen God?

Published in MCC North London's newsletter, 9th December 2009.
 

But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of God's divine being.
Romans 1:20-22, The Message

Have you ever seen God in something unexpected? Have you ever exchanged a smile with a stranger in the street and felt as though you forged an indestructible friendship?

I was struck the other day by all the incredible, diverse, wonderful things in creation that point us to God. Whether it’s the smile of a child on the bus, or the way that the sunlight shines through the trees onto the buildings you see every day. Sometimes it is the small reminders that make us remember who God is and what God does for us.

When that happens, it is right to give thanks and praise to God. It’s the time we should take a deep breath and say in our hearts what a faithful, awesome God we have. Those moments can be lifesaving, they are sent to us to remind us that we are blessed and loved. That the awesome God who created the universe is also watching over our daily lives. I don’t think I will ever be able to get my head around that and I love that beautiful mystery.

In this advent season, we are looking forward to the clearest manifestation of God’s love; the anniversary of the birth of the Son of God – Emmanuel, God with us, the Messiah – we must also be attuned to the miracle of daily life. Give thanks to God; God’s love endures forever!

Sometimes all you need...

...is to let your inner child run amok.

The church Christmas party was this evening and I had so much fun throwing wrapping paper (from Pass the Parcel, of course!) around the room, and singing dodgy karaoke songs with The Wife. It was brilliant, and we had a lovely drink in the pub around the corner afterwards (one of my favourites, although at least one of the guys I was with was miffed that I took him to a straight pub!), and just had a lovely evening.

Work tomorrow, and then the Second Sunday of Advent service. I'm looking forward to it; I'll be celebrating communion.

Today I knit...

...a gauge swatch!

My first ever, to make sure that the gorgeous Sweetheart sweater from Domiknitrix will fit me. As usual, knitting a smaller size on the waist than bust; the joys of making my own clothes!

It's particularly exciting since I realised that a pound shop in Islington sells yarn for £1.49/ball, which means I am knitting this sweater for less than £10. Win.