I did it! I can't quite believe it, but I really did it!
My time wasn't on target, but when the time came I decided to take part against medical advice, so I was just pleased to cross the finishing line at all.
The Royal Parks Foundation Half Marathon is a really fun run in many ways; it passes through some of my favourite parts of London and the atmosphere is incredible. Supporters from all the charities stand and cheer everyone passing, and if they see a name on a shirt they give that person a particular cheer. Volunteers from the major charities represented (including Mind and Help a Capital Child) staff the water / Lucozade stations, and this year at around the 9th and 10th miles there were even some wise people offering sugar in the form of jelly sweets.
It really was the perfect first half marathon in many ways; more-or-less flat, good road surfaces, genuinely enthusiastic marshals and supporters, and a really gorgeous time of year. The day was warm enough that it felt hot to run in, but the leaf-fall and cool wind were refreshing.
I was exhausted by the end, but the support from everyone who has sponsored me, and the YouthNet volunteers, staff and service users who cheered me on before and during the race. YouthNet do sterling work, and have done for sixteen years. If running until my whole body aches is what it takes to keep them going, then so be it.
On the 9th October, I'm running the Royal Parks Foundation Half Marathon for young people's charity YouthNet. It's been a really difficult period of training - recently interrupted for weeks at a time by ill health - and I'm working really hard to do this.
In the grand scheme of things, I suppose not many people have heard of YouthNet, the charity that runs TheSite and Do-It, but they have an enormous, unseen impact. I started as a service user on TheSite ten years ago, so I feel like they've seen me through my awkward adolescence and out the other side.
I'm not going to claim to have had a terribly difficult life; I had a rough time with mental health difficulties as a teenager, which manifested in a number of different ways, but generally my family were supportive. I still needed somewhere more private and anonymous to talk and be listened to. A non-judgemental outlet is one of the most helpful things you can give to young people in these circumstances, and that is a huge part of the ethos of TheSite. The fact sheets present information without judgement, and the message board and live chat user communities provide a peer-support system that allows people to be anonymous and therefore more open than they would be among friends and family.
Back in 1996, when the charity was first forming, it was very difficult to find funding. The idea of a charity offering services entirely online seemed somewhat limited in the days of dial-up, and there were concerns about the sort of information children and young people might be able to access (predictably, early on the non-judgemental nature of the information TheSite.org provides has in the past riled the Daily Mail). Now, we can hardly imagine the world without the internet, and it seems obvious to me that young people who find it difficult to access support services turn to the internet for help. Indeed, TheSite.org appears in the top results on Google for issues such as unplanned pregnancy and self-harm. Online support isn't the be-all and end-all for big issues but it can be very helpful in sign-posting people to local services, and persuading them to seek help.
I'm hoping to start training as a chat moderator in the next few weeks, to help facilitate the live chats. These days, a lot of people come to the community through the live chats and it's inspiring to see how uplifting the community can be for people who are in real distress.
YouthNet makes a crucial difference, but as an online charity they go largely unnoticed by the wider community. As they celebrate their 16th birthday next month, they deserve wider recognition and I'm running all 13.1 miles of the Royal Parks Half Marathon for all the young people who need their support.
If I'm honest, image is on my mind a lot, full stop. If I'm not fretting that my straighteners don't work in humid weather (grrrrr), I'm probably staring agonisingly at my wardrobe / make-up bag, wondering why nothing I own makes me look how I want to.
Actually, I'm even multi-tasking whilst I write this - touching up my roots with my favourite Superdrug blonde - the one that looks like banana-flavour penicillin when you mix it.
I was watching the lovely Ms. Cherry Healey on BBC3 the other day; Cherry's Body Dilemmas(and doesn't she look good in a corset?). I was fascinated by it. I don't suppose this is the place to go into my own particular quirks and insecurities, but I'm a mess of them. For all that the UK media is obsessed with our bodies and how we use and see them, it's actually quite unusual to see this level of frankness and diversity on mainstream telly.
The way we talk about our bodies is warped. It's all extremes and almost never rational. From the HateMail's Liz Jones and her anorexic obsessions to the constant railing against celebrities' wobbly bits and how fatties are eating the NHS out of house and home. The sad truth is that we just can't bear the sight of ourselves.
But what is most refreshing is to see someone who is thin, successful, beautiful, etc., facing up to her own self-consciousness with others without judgement. I admit it challenged my assumption that gorgeous people both know how they look and judge others harshly. I was particularly inspired by the beautiful, and stunningly dressed, Kirsty Lou and her blog. Whilst I cower in high street changing rooms sobbing over size labels, she makes her own clothes and refuses be conformed into someone else's body.
I was struck by her admission that she's suffered because of how she looks. It resonated with me. I've had people cross the street in London to tell me I should diet; they've taunted me from cars in Oxford at 7am and in the back streets of Edinburgh late at night. Friends have called me fat in public and looked astonished when I was upset by it. I even find myself justifying my weight to doctors who don't believe I exercise. I desperately want to take my feminista deconstruction kit to conformist body-shape standards but the truth is that all this just really bloody well hurts and it's too personal to try.
But in the mean time, brava Cherry, Kirsty et. al. for honesty without sentimentality or falsehoods. If telly makes a difference, this is what it looks like. And an honourable mention to Hadley Freeman of the Guardian for this piece which I heartily "hear, hear"-ed earlier this month.
It happens that today is also the fourth anniversary of the death of Sophie Lancaster, a young woman who was killed for her looks. I remember being devastated by the story when I first heard it, as I am by any form of hate crime. The senselessness of the loss of life - not just hers, but also the life her boyfriend and family had known with her in it. S.O.P.H.I.E. (Stamp Out Prejudice, Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere), the foundation her mother founded, is doing great things to teach children that image isn't everything. I wanted to share the video they released today, as further food for thought. We all judge people harshly for how they look; this is a stark reminder of what that culture of judgement does to the world we live in.
So I'm just finishing the fourth week of training now and I'm not doing too badly.
I'm working on an intervals plan at the moment (based on Couch to 5k in 6 weeks), but the intervals are huge. (This week; 5 mins walk, 18 mins run, 2 mins walk, 18 mins run, 2 mins walk.) I'm doing well at it but unfortunately, the programme I'm working from now (the Fun Run app for BlackBerry) only goes up to 5k. I'm going to pick up the 10k plan from Running Made Easy, which uses much shorter intervals. I'll let you know how I get on with that.
With apologies for the poor sound quality, this was recorded on my phone because my dictaphone batteries ran out. If anyone knows of good freeware I can use to clean this up, let me know!
I have signed up to run* the Royal Parks Half Marathon in October for the fabulous YouthNet. They've been online since 1997 offering impartial advice and support to young people in Britain (primarily) and worldwide. I've made some good friends through volunteering for the Respect? campaign run with the British Youth Council and within the community of service users.
I wanted to run in the Penn 7 last year for the Ian Rennie Hospice at Home, and I would still like to raise funds for them in the future, but I wasn't well for a time and wasn't able to train for it.
There will be a team of us going - not all running for the same charity - and although I don't expect us to keep up the same pace all the way it will be nice to have people at the starting line.
I went for my first run this morning and whilst it was not great, I haven't run properly for about 2 years so I'm not despairing just yet. I plan to run at least 3 times a week during Lent - more if I can, as it's also the Easter vac - and keep working slowly up to my goal. It won't be easy, but I know running does my brain and body good and I do love a challenge!
