My housemate came up with two brilliant ones, this was overheard on a bus by her gran:
Well, it'll never be any use to him, now. Not as a leg, anyway.
And her boyfriend's housemate told me the other day that he passed someone in the street saying,
She did have nitroglycerine, but it wasn't hers.
Ummm... does that make it ok?
And it makes me laugh when people mis-hear things I'm saying. Yesterday, we were stacking a new table and someone called through to me;
"Do we really have so many of The Noughties?"
"Yes, millions of the blasted things."
A customer just burst out laughing and looked at me.
"What on earth are millions of naughties?"
Or the other day, after I'd collapsed, someone asked me if I was ok.
Oh, I'm all right, just feeling a little queer.
A customer nearby burst out laughing and then looked a little embarassed. Made my day.